The master builder created a Jason and gave him a very special gift.
The Jason was given a plump glossy squishy squashy heart.
Jason knew that he wanted to share his heart but did not know how or who to share it with
As Christmas came, passed and came again the longing... No... the yearning to share his heart grew ever more strong and nagging... No... aching, aching like the bow of an old oak tree. Jason thought by day and dreamed by night about the one whom he was to share his heart with.
when Jason went to Lydll to buy some Tropical fruit juice, he thought how nice it would be to share his heart with some one and he bought an extra carton of juice Incase they turned up and he'd have enough juice to share,
When Jason was cooking his bully beef and rice he thought how nice would it be to share his heart with someone and cooked an extra tin of corned beef and an extra cup of rice in case they turned up.
As Christmas came, passed and came again the longing... No... the yearning to share his heart grew ever more strong and nagging... No... aching, aching like the bow of an old oak tree. Jason decided he would find the one whom he was to share hisheart with.
This decision was the beginning of the unfolding of the series of undesirable unfortunate and somewhat uncontrollable events...
Jason packed his Gucci man bag and set out on the second greatest adventure of his life
I am seeking the one, Jason declared
Setting out past Peckham High Street and through a special alley way that led to an open field, Jason saw The woods and decided to go and see if The one was there. As Jason passed the 67th tree, (he was counting them so he could find his way back), he met up with a fox. "Well hello" said the fox, "and what are you?" Jason replied "I am Jason Mr Fox" (he knew that Mr Fox was a fox and what a fox was cause Jason watched Foxes on a programme about foxes on the discovery channel).
Mr fox said to Jason "what reason brings you to our great green gorgeous woods?"
"Oh" Jason begins to reply " I have come to your great gray gorging woods on a very special quest", "I am looking for the one to share my heart with".
The Fox flicks his tail and his ears prick up, he ignores the fact that the Jason completely got the name of the woods all wrong, upside down and back to front, "the one?" He says in a question like way, you know his voice kinda went a bit high as he said "one", Jason repeats him " yes the one", "we'll now that is a very special quest", says the fox as he sits down on the floor," Infact I myself saw the one yesterday, she had rather lovely red hair, and a bushy tail with a perfect white tip, it swished and flicked as she walked, she really was very beautiful".
Jason felt his heart beat an extra very notable beat, his face lit up with happiness and a 'smile broke out like the sun does in the morning slowly but full and completely, he could not believe that he could find the one so easily, he candidly enquired of the fox "where exactly did you see the one?" The fox stood up, (on all fours of course) and looked into the sky like he was imaginating, thats not a proper word is it? ok as if he was day dreaming, he told Jason, "I was out walking a little further than I had originally planned, and found myself near the edge of the woods, right there near the edge of the woods was a small clearing and there was the most lovely creature I've ever seen, she was sunbathing I think but almost as soon as I saw her she got up and walked off with her bushy tail with the perfect white tip, that swished and flicked as she walked, she really was very beautiful". As the fox finished what he was saying he looked at Jason but Jason was not there he had gone as soon as the fox had said 'edge of the woods', "how rude" said the fox.
Jason travelled for hundreds maybe thousands possibly MILLIONs of centimetres, until he came to the edge of the woods, there he saw the clearing the fox had spoke of and there... was... The one! Her hair was really red and the tip of her tail was perfectly white, Jason was so excited I mean 'wow'! the one was exactly how the fox had described her, she was stunning!
'Wha gwaan?' Jason said boldly (he wanted to sound cool and thought some Jamaican Patois would sound good) 'excuse me ' said miss fox, 'and what are you?' (She was very posh) "I am Jason" said Jason as poshly as he could, "we'll hello Jason, I am miss Fox, pleasure to meet you I'm sure" before she finished her sentence she had got up turned her back to Jason and started to walk off. There it was... Jason's gaze was transfixed on the beautiful red tail with the perfect white tip, it swished and flicked as she walked, "wow!" Thought Jason, "she is the one", Jason followed her and tried making conversation, "are you thirsty?" Said miss fox, "yes I am actually I've travelled a long way" said Jason as he pointed to where Mr fox was sniffing around the tree and chasing insects about 100 whole meters away, Miss Fox squeezes her cheeks in a little, flicks her tail and says "well I think you are interesting, I've never met a Jason before so come and drink with me" at that she starts to lap rain water from a puddle on the floor, "that's nasty" thought Jason, but he decided if it was good for her it was good for him, he bent down and started lapping up the rain water, he wasn't very good at it and manged to get all muddy and even splashed miss fox, "how rude" said miss fox, "are you hungry?" She asked, Jason felt his heart beat an extra very notable beat, she had to be the one Infact this was conformation, I mean she was genuinely asking if he was hungry! "Oh I'm very hungry" he replied. Miss fox walked off without a word, Jason followed with his eyes transfixed on the beautiful red tail with the perfect white tip, it swished and flicked as she walked, eventually they came to a wire fence, "climb over and go and get some eggs from the chickens so we can eat" said miss fox, Jason felt very uncomfortable about this, I mean who's fence was it and won't the chickens mind? Jason did not say a word, after all this was the one he was to share his heart with so he had to trust her, he climbed over the fence and nervously went and took the eggs. Miss fox ate all the eggs she didn't even offer any to Jason, he didn't really mind cause he had lost his appetite. After eating miss fox got up and walked off and againJason's eyes were transfixed on the beautiful red tail with the perfect white tip, that swished and flicked as she walked. Jasonknew now was the time, he reached inside his chest and removed his plump glossy squishy squashy heart. "Miss Fox" Jasonsaid as poshly as he could "I want to share my heart with you miss Fox" Miss fox stopped still and her ears pricked up, "yourheart" she said rather candidly, she turned to face Jason, "your heart" she said again for the second time, Jason reached out and gave miss Fox his heart, she took it and walked off, Jason of course followed transfixed on the beautiful red tail with the perfect white tip, that swished and flicked as she walked his face lit up with happiness and a 'smile broke out like the sun does in the morning slowly but full and completely, he could not believe that he had found the one so easily. After walking for some considerable time they saw Mr Fox chasing his tail round and round in circles, as soon as mr fox saw miss fox he stopped with his tail in his mouth looking rather embarrassed, "arel hehho" said mr fox, he spat his tail out of his mouth quickly and repeated himself "well hello", miss fox gave her tail an extra flick and replied "we'll hello to you" they both chuckled and mr fox asked miss fox "are you thirsty? I know a great puddle under the oldest tree in the woods", "I'd be delighted said miss fox, at that she dropped Jason's heart on the floor and said to Jason rather sternly "it was interesting meeting you but do not follow me or I'll get a restraining order" and at that she got up and walked off with mr fox swishing her tail. Jason stooped over and picked up his heart, it was no longer a plump glossy squishy squashy heart, but it had a big piece missing and lost its gloss from being carried by miss fox, it was no longer plump as it had hit the floor hard and lost its plumpness, it was still squishy and squashy so Jason put it back in his chest and cried eye water for 52 hours.
As the 52nd hour was almost over since Jason started crying he saw a tail protruding from a branch on the tree, just a tail... It was swishing with so much more finesse than miss foxes tail and then the end of the tail flicked with such class... Jason felt his heart beat an extra very notable beat, This might just possibly be the one Jason thought. "Hello", Jason called out in his poshest voice "you there in the tree, how do you do?" The tail stopped swishing and a head appeared looking rather annoyed "I almost ad that cheeps then! You scared it and it flew away!" "Blimey, your an ugly looking cat" Jason replied rather nervously, "no, no I'm not a cat I'm a Jason" "it's a pleasure to meet" miss cat (that's who owned the tail in the tree) interrupted Jason "you live in these woods then? You know where any cheeps live?" Before miss cat had finished speaking she had jumped down the tree and was right up leaning on Jason's leg, "do you mean birds? And no I live in Peckham" repliedJason, "Peckham" miss cat replied, "I live in Peckham, well in the alleyway that leads to Peckham High Street, so tell me what you doing in the trees, are you trying to catch cheeps?" "Oh" Jason begins to reply " I have come to the 'trees' not to chase cheeps but I am on a very special quest", "I am looking for the one to share my heart with". Miss cat was staring so intently at Jason, she was so still and kinda crouched down her tail was swishing back and forth, maybe she is the one maybe she's realised it just like that, maybe... Suddenly miss cat pounced with such speed Jason barley had time to flinch, miss cat pounced right past Jason's head to where she had really been staring and BAM she hit the side of a tree very hard, as she turned to face Jason a single feather was protruding from her mouth, eeeer that's nasty thought Jason, she's caught and eaten a bird! Then 'cheep' 'cheep' the bird miss cat had almost caught was sittin on the branch of the tree cheeping away as if she was laughing at miss cat.
"Well come on then, (said miss cat) lets ave a butchers at that old art of yours" Jason didn't even give it a second thought he opened his chest and pulled out his heart, "it's got a bit missing and isn't plump anymore, but I do want to share it with the one" Jason defensively blurted out, miss cat weaved between Jason's legs with her back arched and tail swishing, Suddenly she pounced upwards and batted the heart out of Jason's hands and it rolled in a pile of leaves on the floor, miss cat leapt again and grabbed Jason's heart between her paws and rolled over scratching at it with her rear legs, the heart spun up in the air and miss cat kinda did a twisted backwards lunge at it, she caught it with her claw and brought it down to the floor again, miss cat was really enjoying playing with Jason's heart. Jason stood in utter disbelief with his mouth wide open, miss cat was playing with his heart as if it was a ball of string or wool, she was rolling around with it and throwing it about! "You need to stop that" Jason protested, but as soon as the words had left his mouth miss cat froze... "She's actually listening to me" thoughtJason, but no miss cat had heard something else, she didn't say a word but stood mid action still like a statue, her ear twitched and in the blink of an eye she vanished! "Miss cat!" Called out Jason, "miss cat... My heart?" "Oh my days... She's run off with my heart..." Jason was so sad, so discouraged, so fed up. He sat down in the leaves and buried his head into his hands, he started to weep again. The woods were very quiet Infact they were silent, only Jason's sniffles between his tears could be heard, and they weren't very loud, not even a bird could be heard cheeping.
But that silence was soon broken, broken like a window pane that was blasted by an out of control football, it was as if a tornado had hit the exact spot where Jason was sitting, the air was filled with leaves and dust! Infact if you looked really carefully you could see an entire ants kingdom thrown up into the air! well... Maybe it wasn't a kingdom but there were ants for sure!
As the dust settled and leaves floated back to their resting place Jason was met by a very very big hairy blob... The blob shaked itself very hard and under all the hair two eyes appeared, "wha gwaan my yute?" "Yuh nah look too good man whapen to yuh?" Oh wow now Jason saw the mouth and it was BIG full of white sharp teeth! "Are you... Jamaican?" Jason asked very sheepishly, "ye mon a how yuh did know dat?" The furry blob replied, oh hold on we can't keep calling him a furry blob, he was Infact a furry dog, and his name was Dwain. Jason still very nervous replied "I guessed you was Jamaican because you sound like my uncle and he is from Jamaica" Infact when Jason spoke he sounded like an old car that didn't want to start on a cold morning, jugga jugga jugga, he had been weeping so hard he couldn't talk without sounding like this, Dwain realised how sad Jason was, "my yute wha do yuh man? Come talk to me, is who mek yuh bawl so?"
Something else was on Jason's mind, something had but for a moment taken his mind off of his lost heart, "are you going to eat me" Jason asked very sheepishly, "eat you!?" Dwain sounded surprised and shocked all at once! "Lucky mi nah beat yuh bout eat yuh!""what a ting! "Coo pon yuh, Yuh too marga to eat my yute, Wundt even waste my seasoning pon yuh"
Jason realised his error and felt really stupid, "oh I'm so sorry," Jason replied, "I'm having a bit of a rough time out here in the woods" at that moment his mind remembered his heart, his head buried itself back into his hands and he started crying again, "I had a heart to share," he spluttered, "it was a plump glossy squishy squashy heart, but now it's gone", as Jason looked up Dwain (the fluffy dog) was busy licking something on the floor, Dwain then gently picked up the 'something' in his mouth and carried it over to Jason, it was his heart... It was no longer squishy and squashy and had claw marks all over it and another big piece missing, Dwain had cleaned it up best he could and gave it back to Jason. "Now my yute" Dwain looked very serious when he spoke this time and his voice changed slightly as well, "my yute, di art is a serious ting yuh no, yuh cyaan gwaan go geit to any an any one, memba mi tell yuh, if di masta builder gi it yuh, den him same one ago gi yuh smuddy fi share it wid, u c me a say?" Jason nodded and put his heart back in his chest, "what's your name?" Asked Jason, "you can call me speedy" replied Dwayne, "come mek me walk wid yuh fi a while. They set off to no where in particular and Jason took the opportunity to tell his new friend 'Speedy' all about his journey. They walked and talked, well Jason talked, and before they knew it they had arrived in no where in particular, "we'll my yute", said Dwain, "mi ago lef yuh now, memba dis, do not gi yah art to any an anyone, protect dat respect dat and set dat!" Dwain gave Jason a hug so big that for a moment Jason vanished completely in Dwains fluffy hair, "thanks Speedy" said Jason as he emerged from the fluffy hair, "
Let me pause for a moment from the narrative and attempt to paint a picture of what no where in particular is like, no where in particular is part of the woods where there is a stream and lots of trees with fruit and bushes with berries, there are mushrooms and all manner of insects and crawling things, no where in particular is a very busy place with rabbits hoping, squirrels scampering and badgers complaining because they are trying to sleep, there are lots more animals but I am not sure how to describe what they are doing but hopefully you get the picture, no where in particular is a very busy bustling place.
Jason was ever so slightly overwhelmed with the amount of creatures that were there busy being busy, 'excuse me! Watch your back' a rather high pitched voice startled Jason as he quickly got out of the way of a squirrel running past him holding a pile of nuts, as Jason watched the squirrel scamper past him his gaze settled on a very pretty deer, she was eating berries from a holly bush, she looked like she should be a model thought Jason, then he noticed her tail, it was short and swished with finesse, and kind of twitched every few seconds. Jason didn't feel his heart beat an extra notable beat but he hadn't given up all hope of finding the one, he approached the deer, 'hi how you doing?' He softly asked, the deer stop chewing, swallowed her berries and looked at Jason batting her eye lids, ' the deer didn't reply and for a moment there was an awkward silence that was welcomely interrupted by a rabbit, bouncing up and down on one spot the rabbit was looking Jason up and down never making eye contact 'hey hot stuff! How yoooo doing?' Jason went bright red and the deer went back to eating berries, 'I... I'm fine thank you very much', stutterd Jason. 'Whats your name babe?' Asked the rabbit, 'I'm Jason, it's nice to met you'Jason politely replied. 'Well, you looking good Daysun' replied the rabbit rather enthusiastically, Infact everything she did was 'rather enthusiastic she just didn't keep still! '
She continued, 'what you doing here? Where are you from? What are you? Without waiting for a reply for any of her 228 questions she continued, 'I live on top of the hill, I'm just hanging out today I was at a party last night and won the beautiful bunnie prize, I win all the time but still can't find a good somebunny to make my special somebunny'. As the rabbit was talking the deer slowly and very elegantly started to walk off, as she left she turned and caught Jason's eye and smiled. This timeJason felt his heart beat a very noticeable although very weak extra beat, the rabbit was going on and on and her voice became background noise to Jason, you know like when a teacher is going on and on and on and ends up sounding like bwaah bwaah bawaa while your thinking about playtime! Suddenly Jason heard the rabbit say, 'we'll that's settled then, I'm going home to get ready and ill meet you back here at sun down to go out, toodles' and she bounced away before Jason could even open his mouth let alone reply!
Jason looked over to the direction where the deer had gone and decided to follow, he found her sitting in some long grass, he went over and very politely asked 'do you mind ever so much if I join you?' The deer looked at Jason batted her eyelids and nodded, another awkward moment came as Jason debated with himself in his mind, 'is she saying yes join her or is she saying yes she minds?' He decided to be bold and sat down, 'Im sorry about earlier, I was trying to introduce my self then Miss Rabbit interupted. My name is Jason I'm on a quest...' As soon as the words dropped out of his mouth he stopped himself! He remembered the words Dwain had shared with him, "do not gi yah art to any an anyone, protect dat respect dat and set dat!" The deer stared intently at Jason as if she was waiting for him to say more, here it came again this time creeping up slowly but with heavy feet so everyone knew it was coming... That awkward moment!
After a few seconds of treading water in that awkward moment Jason spoke up, after all what did he have to lose, 'I have aheart' he sheepishly proclaimed, 'I have a heart I want to share', the deer dipped her head down and grabbed a mouthful of grass and started chewing (very elegantly I must add).
The deer did not speak, Infact it would of been rude if she did as her mouth was full of grass, Jason recognised the signs of an awkward moment approaching so he opened his chest and took his heart out to show the deer.
The deer looked at the heart, batted her eye lids and continued chewing, all of a sudden the deer started coughing and spluttering, some of the grass had stuck in her throat, Jason put his heart on the floor and went close the deer to pat her back, she coughed one final big cough and managed to spit out the grass, 'eeeer that's nasty' thought Jason, but he also felt quite pleased with himself, after all he probably just saved her life! Suddenly... like a ????.? He remembered miss Rabbit! The sun was well on its way downwards and miss Rabbit was expecting to meet Jason, he didn't actually want to go but miss Rabbit did seem very interested in him and he hadn't even told her about his heart, 'miss Deer' Jason began, 'miss deer, I have to go now but it was lovely talking to you and I'd like to see you again?'
The deer batted her eyelids and nestled her head on her front legs, Jason got up and very quickly (knowing he was late) marched off to go and meet miss Rabbit.
When Jason arrived at the berry bush there was no sign of miss rabbit, Jason waited... And waited and after waiting for ages... He waited.
"Where's it gone!" "Where's it gone!" A shrill voice woke Jason up, he had fallen asleep waiting on miss Rabbit who never showed up, he felt his leg being lifted up then his arm as he looked around to see who or what had woken him the voice again squeaked "Where's it gone!", "Where's it gone!" The squirrel that had rushed past him yesterday carrying nuts was rushing around frantically searching around where Jason had been laying, "Where's it gone!" "Where's it gone!" He squeaked . "Where has what gone?" Asked Jason, The squirrel didn't answer and scampered off, before Jason could wipe the matter from his eyes or even consider the squirrels lost whatever a realisation hit him, hit him first with a thought in his head then a sinking sicky feeling in the pit of his belly, then finally his entire body felt as if he had fallen from a tree and hit the floor hard! Hisheart! He had left his heart on the floor in the grass with miss deer!
Jason ran, I mean he ran like he'd never run before he arrive at the exact spot in the grass that he had been sitting with miss Deer but she was not there... He looked for his heart and laying on the floor was a large prune, you know those wrinkly looking fruits. But as he looked closer he realised it was his heart... It was no longer squishy and squashy you couldn't even see the claw marks all over it, it had shrivelled up in the hot morning sun and as Jason picked it up it broke in half... Jason reached inside his Gucci man bag and pulled out a roll of sticky tape and taped the heart back together, he put his heart that was now small, shrivelled and held together with sticky tape back into his chest and sat down. No tears came this time, he just sat there and starred at the grass.
As Night time came, passed and came again Jason sat, he sat in silence. A voice from behind him softly entered the silence, "my yute, wha do yuh man?" Jason recognised the voice but didn't turn around, he replied 'I ruined it', "my yute" the voice respond, "if di Master builder gi yuh di heart, him same one can restore di heart". "You shuda aks di Master builder if Him dun mek smuddy for you to share it wid, but yuh tek it on yourself to gwaan guh look that smuddy, it's time my yute... Stop look start asking".
Jason felt his heart beat a single very notable although very very gentle beat, he realised he was to blame for the series of undesirable unfortunate and somewhat uncontrollable events... He realised he should of searched for the Master builder and asked Him to bring the one to him or to lead him to the one. Jason asked "Can the Master Builder really restore my heart so it's plump glossy squishy and squashy again?" The voice didn't answer, Jason turned around expecting to see his friend Speedy but no one was there. Jason felt his heart beat again, ever so softly but very notably, Jason knew he had to find the Master builder and that his friend Speedy would know where to look. Jason had a new quest... "I will find Speedy and then with his help I'll find the Master Builder" Jason declared.